Lost Princess

Melancholic? O3O

"In the end, the most painful expression is that of no emotion. The most scathing words are those sugar coated lies."

...and the most pitiful is that selfish princess, trapped forever in her labyrinth of memories.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to rewind your memories to the past and just stay there? Have you ever regretted leaving people and places you've really treasured and felt like you...just can't keep up with coping anymore..? Do you know the feeling? It just feels like everything is in place yet something is just not quite right..

Yume has already transferred here for a year already, but she still feels estranged to everything here... The customs, the people, the way of speaking and keeping up.

They look at her as if she always says something wrong,

They talk to her as if she has just come here today,

Some see her as 'little-miss-perfect', others see her as a nuisance,

They don't understand her words and her frustration.

After all.. Yume is just a stranger.

 Yume..wants to go back. She wants to go back to her friends that was always with her..

Complain to them, talk together, laugh together, cry together... but she can't.

Everytime she logs on facebook she sees them again, but they're all moving on with their busy lives... they don't have that time to listen to her anymore. They have their things to do. They are all coping fine.

Then she looks around. The people here are all the same. They see through her as if she was transparent.. there is no one to fool around with.. no one to rant to when she feels down.. no one to just be there and give her a hug when she needs them....because they can't see her frustration.

"I've always known that looking back at past cries would make me laugh, but I've never expected that looking back at past laughs would make me..cry."

She misses the times when we were panicking because the biology lab report is due tomorrow.

She misses the times when we go around cramming for the homework or AMS exams next period.

She misses the dance practices, and the times we used to act all crazy on the school bus.

She misses the walks, the phone calls, the ice cream store we always used to go to when we were free.

But those have become only memories. We can't relive the past.

 It's fine if she has buried half her life in order to be viewed as 'normal'.

It's alright if she will have to keep some secrets in order to get along with people.

It doesn't matter if she has to make sacrifices and go out of the way to help people around her, just so that she can make them happy.

..But it's so hard to just smile and be herself around others who doesn't see Yume as Yume. Q__Q

Nothing is important anymore. Yume just wants to curl up in her blankets and cry her loneliness out.

"..but emotionless expressions have proven to be much more kinder than lies, and lying smiles could be the only way for us to cover up our crying selves."

..and in the end, memories are nothing but broken dreams, luring us into that abyss.

*sigh* Ah well, guess all the things she had to do is really getting into her.

Yume is tired.. she doesn't want to think of things anymore..

Is it better to try to give up, or to give up trying?

New layout O3O

Ahh, yea. she hasn't been blooging. for quite a while OAO

Gomen ne >_<

And thus :D *drumroll* XD
Yume ish thinking of making a new blog layout, and then updating it regularly. xD
So stay in tune~

Adieu <3

Rebellion : Against..?

Sometimes, we just want to make some sense in our lives.
Whatever the reason might be. Whatever the way we choose.

Sometimes, we just want to find something in our lives.
Whatever it might be Whatever it will be...

Sometimes, we just want to find a place in this world.
Wherever that might be, wherever that will be.


...And sometimes, all we are looking for is a bit of ourselves.
Not bowing down to the common opinions. To be us just for the sake of ourselves, and no one else.

Us ne, we have a common problem...
Be it that we notice it or not, it's shown to some degree//
We all tend to bow down to thee common opinions of the public. 
We all care about what other people say, no matter how much we pretend not to care. 

We cannot escape. Because we are all chained together. 
We have no means of expressing ourselves, our real selves.. Because we are all repressed by that reality.
We all want to be free, but we can't, because it's part of the social contract we have exchanged for order.


Yume ish sick and tired of that.

Yume doesn't want herself to be just another puppet.
It's suffocating. . . They are eating away at her personal space.

Opinions.

 If she ignores them she wonders if she will be hated..?
If she goes against them she wonders if they would forgive her..?

She longs to go against it but what ish there to go against..?

.... W h a t e v e r .

From today, whatever they think of her can just go ruin for all she cares.
Yesh. she knows that she might regret this someday.


But before that day comes, she declares rebellion.

Against M a i n s t r e a m .


Whatever others think has no right to bend you down . They cannot drag you down. 
We are all free, we all started free. But however, sometime along the course, along the way, we have traded it for something else. 
Something, in the name of conformity and order.


We all long to be ourselves but it ish the ones around us prohibiting that.


But from now on Yume won't care.
She has decided to throw away everything that you have known her as.

She ish who she ish and no one will deny that.

She won't care anymore about what the people say to her, say about her.


Know about her, and talk about her.
Yume ain't your normal average girl. 
She ish not who you think she ish. 

This ish her declaration. Declaration of Rebellion.
She will dare to rise, against what the popular deem as 'correct'. They have no right to determine what she should be and what she should choose. . .


Yume had always tried her best to just. . fit in. and be a good girl, one that everyone would 'normally' be happy with, but that has taken away her freedom.


From now on, she would take a big step, out of her world. 
She won't hide anymore, and speak out. 
What she feels and what she wants to say, 


And she will dare to be herself.

She doesn't care if the whole world will go against her, or that they would condemn her. 

And then, maybe that way she could finally find herself back again. ;3


"Those who matter won't care and those who care won't matter."

So if you have really accepted Yume as who she was versus who everyone thought she was this wouldn't make so much of a change would it~? ;3


[7.May.2011]
--Yume.




--And to spark this revolution, maybe something with a little change~? :3

Ahaha yea "Review sessions" with her friends always turnout this way XD

Pfft, no don't worry she's not mean xD

And the chair was super comfyy~ <3

No comment XD

In the end Digital Cameras are still nice XD Don't mind the mess in the back Yume and her friends tend to make a big mess everytime we crash over  =P

Re.Start

 [Giving up isn't hard. Be it anything or anyone. What hurts most is the emptiness that it leaves...]

: "Yume." Do you still remember her..?
Her name had started online. On a certain site, in a certain place.
Her dream once existed, in the mind of one, in the eyes of many... Yet one day it disappeared. 

...She doesn't want this to happen...

 *sigh* But what could she do..?

Yes. It ish true, her real name isn't 'Yume Usagi-chan'. But who are they to tell her what is 'real' and whatnot..? 

...She didn't admit that. She didn't want to create another her. She doesn't want to admit to anyone that denied her existence. . .

Giving up ishn't hard. It's just shrugging off the past as if nothing has happened. It's just facing the other direction and forgetting whatever got put behind... 

But that ish not true.

Giving up leaves an empty space. A hole in our minds. Somewhere, something ish supposed to fill...

Yume misses everyone she met and knew. 

She didn't even get the chance to thank you. She doesn't want this end just yet...

After thinking and thinking, Yume has come to a decision. . .

She will make everything come back together again.

Pieces of her memories. Of the person she knew and everyone knew.

Her name ish Yume. And no one can change her. 

http://www.facebook.com/Yume.in.Wonderland

This account ish for those that wants to find out a bit more truth about Yume.
She ish just your normal girl, but not youｒ average girl.
Know about her and wonder.
She ishn't who you think she ish. 

And now she propose a pledge.

A challenge.

To herself, and to everyone.   

A Hundred Promises. A Hundred Truths. A Hundred pages from a Dream's Diary.

She will promise not to deceive herself anymore. Her dream ish not a mere mask to hide her true self. In return, she ask of you nothing but be true to her. 

Deal..? 

And then, it ish up to you to decide.

---------[She is a princess. Lost in Wonderland.]

[1.May.2011]
~Yume.☆

Dear Fool.

Open the diary, Stare at the calender.
Today is April first, or was April first.


Countdown towards the next day. 


..And the Fool Smiles.

Has it been a good day?


" ...Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two"


And today marks the 32nd day. Thirty second day of March.
Where we smile, we dance, and play tricks. Living in blissful ignorance.
And today is the first. First day into April.
Where the fool watches us smile, listens to our songs, our pranks. Grinning at our naivety. 


Set our alarm, Share the news with the others.
Today is March 32nd, or it was supposed to be.


Looking back into our last day.


...And the Fool watches.


Was it a good day?


April First, or as the others call it, April Fool's day. It has always been a day related with joys, smiles, pranks, jokes, happiness.
however, how many of that is true?


Behind our pranks, how many of us really tried to make the other smile?
Behind all our masks, that just shrug them off and laugh it off, how many of us really forgave the other?
And behind all our smiles, how many of them are...true?




Turn on the radio. And off with the lights.
Today is April Fools'. When we are supposed to be happy.


...And the Fool waits.


What kind of day will it be..?


Many things might be intended as just simple tricks. Our childish pranks. 
however, sometimes, people tend to go overboard.
And overreact.
..or both. in the worst cast scenario. Thus creating a huge shock. That shakes those fragile human relations. Creating huge damage. irreversible. 

But it is maybe because we just want attention. We pull pranks on others in the hope that maybe...someone, anyone would notice. Notice..'me'. Who I am and who I really am, not who I seem or what I seem.

Maybe by this way, you can look at us , laugh with us. Smile at us.

We will hide. hide our true ugly self. Plaster on our unbreakable mask of smiles...and laugh. like nothing happened.


But slowly, pranks are pulled to affect the others, not in such a good way. Now, the people play tricks to laugh. Laugh at the others, not with them.
That is how much we have fallen.




Draw back the curtains, and lock the door.
Today is our day. We will make it that way.


And the Fool sleeps.


It will be a day eternally engraved in our memories.




Behind every smile lies a hundred litres of tears. Untold, unshed, unseen. Yet flooding away and destroying our fragile minds.
Draining our heart.
..Unstoppable.


The Fool is not allowed to show its sadness.
Because then it will cease to be who it is.

Dear Fool, please don't cry. 
We all just want to see each other smile.
Again and again, we will try, 
To save each other from our lies.


Once the mask breaks, we are nothing but ourselves.


~Yume.☆