Dishonest Honesty.

...Stop stop stop STOP.
....What is happening?




Tears.


...It won't stop. or it had never stopped.


Thoughts.


...It won't start, or that it was just always there since the beginning.


Silence.


It was deafening. 


......Great. She doesn't know what is happening.


Yume.is.not.here.


...And for this once, she will not lie. She is not who you think, or thought she is.


Smiling was tiring. Pretending was hard. But they were the basis of her. 
And when she is alone, thoughts begin to build up.


...And then she will forget them. Hide.


...But when they become too much for her to ignore. They all come crashing down. At once.


And then she will try to stop thinking. 


But point is, she can't stop thinking. And then it will haunt her.


...She is thinking about emptiness. and that is like creating a vacuum, sucking all what she could be thinking in. And then leaving her with.............nothing.
And then dumping everything out, at her when she is alone.


Yume.is.a.liar.


Yes. she is a liar. The worst type of liar. 
...appearing and disappearing when she wanted.
Manipulating herself into being who she wanted.
She is a dream.
...And dreams are bound to disappear. someday.
Then a new one comes out. and the cycle starts again. 
........but they are all lies.


Stop. Stop. STOP. 
Stop pretending.


...........but she can't.
C.O.N.F.O.R.M.I.T.Y. 
...or so they called it.
If she did, she'd probably end up crying and screaming, letting herself out for all what she held back. 
...And then what would happen?
No, stop thinking . No, here she goes again.


People would worry. it would be her fault. She must not let that happen.


So she has decided.
To shut herself away from the rest of the world.
At least for now.


So don't look for her.
She is fine.
...That.was.a.lie.