Ending.

Every story is bound to have a beginning and an end.
No matter how long or short, how dull or exciting the contents might be.

Every chapter that once started is bound to meet it's ending.
No matter how much we wish for it to continue.

We all live in a story that has such chapters. Every little segment in our lives pass by like buses to a bus stop. They come.. they go. They imprint pictures into our memories and then melt away, vanishing into nostalgia.
Sometimes, we become trapped in the nostalgia.

We become puppets hung on the strings of unrealized promises, robots running on fuel made up of nothing but visions of a future reflected upon the past.
Sometimes, we long for the past.
Sometimes, Yume longs for the past... If she can exchange anything to turn back time, she'd do everything she can. everything her capabilities would allow it. ....She probably just sounds like some useless emo child right now.

but really.

Oftentimes, we do not realize the people and things around us...but once we do, it's almost always too late.
Yume is no exception to such tragedy.
She has been like a leech, feeding on the past for too long that she didn't realize the wealth around her, until it's time to move on again.

Time ushers us on, and doesn't spare a moment to even listen to our excuses.
It seemed so yesterday, Yume was sitting with her circle of friends, talking about what we were going to do for the next weekend. College seemed so distant, Graduation seemed so far away, Goodbye seemed so.....impossible.

and time continues to push us on, distancing us away from what we have come to know.
And then.. just a blink of an eye ago, she bid her goodbyes to them, telling them that we'll meet again someday... replaying those scenes under her closed eyes as she boarded the plane to LA...

Then we blink our eyes to adjust to the foreign world. Estranged. Alone.
She still remembers when she first came to her new school. The first room she stepped in., the biology classroom. Yume chose to sit alone in the corner. silently waiting for class to end so that she can go back home and come online.....browsing through the pictures left from her previous life.

But even as the blinding light dimmed, we still opted to shield ourselves away.
half a year passed. she still chose to shut herself from the others. Perhaps, she has always been this way, she doesn't learn. *chuckles* A summer spent in SAT classes, the start of a new semester, new classmates, new....acquaintances.

We try to convince ourselves to learn to accept. But what do we accept?
Somehow, this year has been better than the last. Yume learned to open up to people around her....a little bit more than the last. Talking was easy, it wasn't hard to break the wall between two people...afterall, she is good at hiding her inner voices.

......................but in the end, things has to end. and looking back in retrospective, there will always be things to regret.....and want to forget.
Everyone graduated today. Yume didn't go to graduation. She doesn't feel regret...nor relief...nor any sort of feeling. just like this, numb.
However, that numbness slowly turns into pain, tormenting her with the other possibilities that could have happened. 
Once again, Yume has forgotten to look around her. she has told herself so many times..........yet she has wronged herself so many times.

 If she could turn back time, she would have done so many things differently.
Maybe she won't be the her she is today.
Maybe she would end up doing things she would regret again....

but it doesn't matter.
It doesn't change. We cannot relive the past. Only just that some choose to dwell on it, too much for their own good.

....are you one of those puppets too?

Update Update ☆

Grrr... Yume has been talking about keeping this blog updated for AGES...and yet, she still can't find the time amongst her timetables ... orz

Since she will be in college soon (after this summer) Yume'd reckon she'd REALLY REALLY for real this time keep a blog.

A proper blog.

With updates.

Yes. that will be her new goal *nod nod*

To begin that, she has changed her layout..nothing major, just played around with the header and texts a bit...SHE STILL CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE SHE WANTS *weeps*

Ah well, that will come later. there's time =w=b

So. in conclusion. this time, Yume will really make this work. she'll keep updating this at least once a week (?) <quite a challenge but she'll take it . owo'a

Over here she'll post random bits and bytes of her everyday life (yes because everyone is SOO interested in it.) as well as share cute stuff and events and such :D

so uh.. yea. *shrugs*

..currently being blown by the wind here in San Fran... orz

Stay tuned~ <3

A random page from Yume's diary #2

So recently there hasn't been much to write about.. Yume wonders what she should do ._.

Ahhh, finally, thanksgiving break! :D That's a week off from school~~ *Stretch*
Yume can finally sleep xD

Recently, there has been nothing but work work work >_<  schoolwork, homework, tutoringwork, essaywork, collegework, housework, lazytowork ...
and apart from that there's nothing fun *complains* >3<

ah well. C'est la vie. =w=v what u get for choosing what u did. XD
But it's fine. we always find something to do.. and that came to Yume in the form of.....

...
....
........ food o_o . <been eating aLOT. gaaaah she's been growing fat ever since school started and now this?! >A<
Yume has made truffles the other day.. and brownies last week, and cookies just yesterday. xD 
(noshedoesn'tshare)
ahaha, well there's no one to share with O3O  it's holidays and everyone's busy orz

do u want to come over and have some? :D

oh speaking of food! xD
Yume must bring up her chem teacher's awesome quote: 

"see, this is why I hate maths, pies are round, not pi r squared!" XD

ahahaha, yea, random. but Yume found it hilarious XD
 don't u think so too? :D


ah well. *shrugs* Yume should better sleep  now. she's going out tomorrow...........
which means .. FOOD again! XDD *smacked*
she needs to stop being a glutton.. ._.
 

A belated Happy Halloween? >O

Eeek OAO 

Yupp, it was halloween. xD Did anyone go trick-or-treating~ ? :D

Yume certainly wanted to, but her mom said she was too old to go ... DX
But, we went somewhere instead. XD
Knott's scary farm :O where "your fears come true" XD
Yuppp, it WAS certainly scary.... with people in costumes scaring u everywhere u went QAQllla
aaaaand it was dark. like, pitch dark, the kind where u reach out ur hand and can't even see your fingers..no exaggeration. >A<

(^Picture was taken with camera flash, so it looks bright O3O)
..and no she wasn't scary (hahaha) until..........

....They began ganging up on her QAQlllll orz
 No. it WAS scary. Yume insists. they just randomly pop out of nowhere and freak u out QAQlllllllllll
Yume was nearly  crying when she first went in the park Q__Qllla

 Oh, right, there were rides too.. Yume was so scared that her contacts would fall out when she was on them . xD But they were fun :D 
 but the scariest erm, well she means 'best', part of it were the mazes :D 
They were sooooo well made >u< not to mention that the effects were ridiculously good too OwO Definitely worth a visit ... maybe, if you are not afraid. XD  

 

Hahaha, it doesn't hurt to make friends, aye? XD

lalalalala xD

She was actually wearing 2 different colored contacts that day... but it doesn't really show >_<

buuu~ ah well, maybe she'll post pics of it clearer on her fb later xD 

Hope minna had an awesome halloween? :)  Btw, you guys all owe her candy. xD haha <3 *peace*

 

a random page from Yume's diary #1

::An excerpt from a dream's diary.

Nyaho~ OwO/ 
Herro minna <3 ahaha xD The cheery and sanguine Yume ish back again de~chu :3

Mehh, since this is a blog, and people post things about their daily lives here...Yume guesses she'd give it a try too xD

Ssso... Recently....
....
...It's been a mess. OTL  There's just soooooooooooooo many things to do QAQ
Her schedule is packed with school and tutoring... @_@ and she has to help out several clubs as well >_<
SAT scores just came out... Which she has to retake again because she wants a 2400 ..
And college applications toooo....
Where should she apply to? Where would accept her? QwQ;;a Gaaaaah.... *sobs*

Those topics aside, let's talk about something fun :D
Yume got colored lenses! >u<
And in different colors too =P
Ohh and she made a big bow by herself too >u<
She'll wear them sometime in the weekend and see how they turn out  *q*
*so excited* X3

Nyaaa~ She's been so static these days.. going to school, coming back home. working on apps... eating stuff... while working.. and getting............chubby O3Ollll
*sigh* she knows that's not good but she just can't help it QAQ

($%!$%& like, who can resist ice cream cake~? QwQ
Ahh.. she got to stop...
or else no one might recognize her sometime later. orz

Haha XD  
Aye ~ thats it for today OwO
Ciaossu <3 

Some pictures..? X3

Hii~ OwO/

Grrr, she was looking for her earring, that fell orz

haha , random freebie made XD it's been ages since she edited >A<