Ending.

Every story is bound to have a beginning and an end.
No matter how long or short, how dull or exciting the contents might be.

Every chapter that once started is bound to meet it's ending.
No matter how much we wish for it to continue.

We all live in a story that has such chapters. Every little segment in our lives pass by like buses to a bus stop. They come.. they go. They imprint pictures into our memories and then melt away, vanishing into nostalgia.
Sometimes, we become trapped in the nostalgia.

We become puppets hung on the strings of unrealized promises, robots running on fuel made up of nothing but visions of a future reflected upon the past.
Sometimes, we long for the past.
Sometimes, Yume longs for the past... If she can exchange anything to turn back time, she'd do everything she can. everything her capabilities would allow it. ....She probably just sounds like some useless emo child right now.

but really.

Oftentimes, we do not realize the people and things around us...but once we do, it's almost always too late.
Yume is no exception to such tragedy.
She has been like a leech, feeding on the past for too long that she didn't realize the wealth around her, until it's time to move on again.

Time ushers us on, and doesn't spare a moment to even listen to our excuses.
It seemed so yesterday, Yume was sitting with her circle of friends, talking about what we were going to do for the next weekend. College seemed so distant, Graduation seemed so far away, Goodbye seemed so.....impossible.

and time continues to push us on, distancing us away from what we have come to know.
And then.. just a blink of an eye ago, she bid her goodbyes to them, telling them that we'll meet again someday... replaying those scenes under her closed eyes as she boarded the plane to LA...

Then we blink our eyes to adjust to the foreign world. Estranged. Alone.
She still remembers when she first came to her new school. The first room she stepped in., the biology classroom. Yume chose to sit alone in the corner. silently waiting for class to end so that she can go back home and come online.....browsing through the pictures left from her previous life.

But even as the blinding light dimmed, we still opted to shield ourselves away.
half a year passed. she still chose to shut herself from the others. Perhaps, she has always been this way, she doesn't learn. *chuckles* A summer spent in SAT classes, the start of a new semester, new classmates, new....acquaintances.

We try to convince ourselves to learn to accept. But what do we accept?
Somehow, this year has been better than the last. Yume learned to open up to people around her....a little bit more than the last. Talking was easy, it wasn't hard to break the wall between two people...afterall, she is good at hiding her inner voices.

......................but in the end, things has to end. and looking back in retrospective, there will always be things to regret.....and want to forget.
Everyone graduated today. Yume didn't go to graduation. She doesn't feel regret...nor relief...nor any sort of feeling. just like this, numb.
However, that numbness slowly turns into pain, tormenting her with the other possibilities that could have happened. 
Once again, Yume has forgotten to look around her. she has told herself so many times..........yet she has wronged herself so many times.

 If she could turn back time, she would have done so many things differently.
Maybe she won't be the her she is today.
Maybe she would end up doing things she would regret again....

but it doesn't matter.
It doesn't change. We cannot relive the past. Only just that some choose to dwell on it, too much for their own good.

....are you one of those puppets too?

Update Update ☆

Grrr... Yume has been talking about keeping this blog updated for AGES...and yet, she still can't find the time amongst her timetables ... orz

Since she will be in college soon (after this summer) Yume'd reckon she'd REALLY REALLY for real this time keep a blog.

A proper blog.

With updates.

Yes. that will be her new goal *nod nod*

To begin that, she has changed her layout..nothing major, just played around with the header and texts a bit...SHE STILL CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE SHE WANTS *weeps*

Ah well, that will come later. there's time =w=b

So. in conclusion. this time, Yume will really make this work. she'll keep updating this at least once a week (?) <quite a challenge but she'll take it . owo'a

Over here she'll post random bits and bytes of her everyday life (yes because everyone is SOO interested in it.) as well as share cute stuff and events and such :D

so uh.. yea. *shrugs*

..currently being blown by the wind here in San Fran... orz

Stay tuned~ <3